THE LUNAR REPORT - "TRUST ME" January 19, 2010
I have a situation here. It has to do with trust, I think.
I’m feeling that maybe some folks are behaving a bit differently around me these days. You know. Now that I am the successful journalist that I am. The Lunar Report is consistently the “top rated” article on Jacksonville.com. That is, until some blog about Jack Del Rio receives 2 “awesome” ratings instead of the ONE I always rate myself. Still, today I am a journalist who writes about his own experiences and his interaction with others. And this disturbs some folks. Some of them are being super nice to me. Others aren’t talking at all.
I’ve spent quite a bit of time with my sister since Thanksgiving. She has mentioned several times lately that she needs to be careful what she says around me – lest her quotes become Lunar fodder. At Thanksgiving, I threatened to bring a reporter’s notebook to the dinner table to take notes. It was a joke. Still, she’s been very nice to me lately.
My son told me on the phone the other day that he would talk to me. He said, “Dad, I will talk to you if you can’t get anyone else to.” Even he feels that folks are claming up because of the Lunar Report.
Okay. I did screw up a couple of times. In one Lunar Report, I wrote about my 40th birthday and how my son didn’t know that it was my birthday. I guess I implied that the wife had not informed him or acknowledged the day. I prefaced all that by saying that I really do not like to acknowledge my birthday. The ex-wife knew this. For years I told her how much I hated being the center of attention on that one day a year. On that birthday, just as she had pretty much done on others, she made no fuss at all. I hope my Lunar didn’t make her feel that I was making her out to be a jerk. She did what I wanted her to do!
There was another Lunar. I wrote about my son’s “cone-head” when he was born. In the same phone conversation the other day, he told me that he no longer has a cone head. Man. I forgot to write that in the Lunar. Of course he doesn’t. His head size became normal at age two-and-a-half weeks!
Look. I’m not out to embarrass or implicate anyone here. I will never say anything badly about those I love. And if I do have to recall a bad situation, I would never name names.
For example, I would never write about my Baptist minister at the Cleveland, Tennessee, Red Bank Baptist Church, Pastor Bob Wilson and how he had a homosexual relationship with the Catholic Bishop from Chattanooga. I’m just not like that.
There is no way I would ever disclose that my little-known half-brother, Harvey Moon from Ocala, Florida beat his wife and locked her in the basement for 6 months. No way. (By the way – he also beat those charges!)
And what kind of a person would I be if I wrote in the Lunar Report that my friend, Jack Frankinluger, hit on the widow at his best friend’s funeral? I would be an awful person! I just wouldn’t do that.
So, relax, y’all. If you’re being nice to me because I’m a small time Sam Donaldson, stop it. If you’re avoiding me because I am a Dan Rather wannabe – well don’t. I’m a hack. I’m in Durham and Jacksonville. What the heck can I really do to harm anyone? Trust me. Okay?
By the way. To my uncle Fred Moon of Rural Box 828, Route 1010 in Draper, North Carolina. EVERYONE knows they are plugs.
I’m feeling that maybe some folks are behaving a bit differently around me these days. You know. Now that I am the successful journalist that I am. The Lunar Report is consistently the “top rated” article on Jacksonville.com. That is, until some blog about Jack Del Rio receives 2 “awesome” ratings instead of the ONE I always rate myself. Still, today I am a journalist who writes about his own experiences and his interaction with others. And this disturbs some folks. Some of them are being super nice to me. Others aren’t talking at all.
I’ve spent quite a bit of time with my sister since Thanksgiving. She has mentioned several times lately that she needs to be careful what she says around me – lest her quotes become Lunar fodder. At Thanksgiving, I threatened to bring a reporter’s notebook to the dinner table to take notes. It was a joke. Still, she’s been very nice to me lately.
My son told me on the phone the other day that he would talk to me. He said, “Dad, I will talk to you if you can’t get anyone else to.” Even he feels that folks are claming up because of the Lunar Report.
Okay. I did screw up a couple of times. In one Lunar Report, I wrote about my 40th birthday and how my son didn’t know that it was my birthday. I guess I implied that the wife had not informed him or acknowledged the day. I prefaced all that by saying that I really do not like to acknowledge my birthday. The ex-wife knew this. For years I told her how much I hated being the center of attention on that one day a year. On that birthday, just as she had pretty much done on others, she made no fuss at all. I hope my Lunar didn’t make her feel that I was making her out to be a jerk. She did what I wanted her to do!
There was another Lunar. I wrote about my son’s “cone-head” when he was born. In the same phone conversation the other day, he told me that he no longer has a cone head. Man. I forgot to write that in the Lunar. Of course he doesn’t. His head size became normal at age two-and-a-half weeks!
Look. I’m not out to embarrass or implicate anyone here. I will never say anything badly about those I love. And if I do have to recall a bad situation, I would never name names.
For example, I would never write about my Baptist minister at the Cleveland, Tennessee, Red Bank Baptist Church, Pastor Bob Wilson and how he had a homosexual relationship with the Catholic Bishop from Chattanooga. I’m just not like that.
There is no way I would ever disclose that my little-known half-brother, Harvey Moon from Ocala, Florida beat his wife and locked her in the basement for 6 months. No way. (By the way – he also beat those charges!)
And what kind of a person would I be if I wrote in the Lunar Report that my friend, Jack Frankinluger, hit on the widow at his best friend’s funeral? I would be an awful person! I just wouldn’t do that.
So, relax, y’all. If you’re being nice to me because I’m a small time Sam Donaldson, stop it. If you’re avoiding me because I am a Dan Rather wannabe – well don’t. I’m a hack. I’m in Durham and Jacksonville. What the heck can I really do to harm anyone? Trust me. Okay?
By the way. To my uncle Fred Moon of Rural Box 828, Route 1010 in Draper, North Carolina. EVERYONE knows they are plugs.
Please visit the sites of some of my friends.
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