THE LUNAR REPORT - "CHOICES" January 25, 2010
I guess it’s a natural response. No one wants to take the blame for failure. So when we make poor choices, and get caught off guard by the consequences, we often try to deflect all blame away from us. I used to do that. It took me years to understand Ida B. Brown. But finally I did. In the purest sense, life is all about choices and consequences.
Ida Brown was my fifth grade teacher at Fishweir Elementary School on Herschel Street in Jacksonville. She was a big older woman who wore kind of modest but stately dresses every day. Her hair was pulled up and molded into every man’s dream of a wonderful and warm grandmother. She was amazing. Rough and tanned skin. Beautiful big blue eyes that could see right through every kid and every kid’s intentions. She was warm. Like our impression of Aunt Bea from Mayberry. But Miss Brown was real. And so much better than Andy Taylor’s aunt.
When I was in elementary school, the sixth grade was our final year before graduating to Junior High School. So us fifth graders felt pretty tough. We were “upperclassmen!” One more year and we were seniors! Miss Brown understood this. She kept an old Boston rocker at the front of her classroom. Anytime one of us cocky fifth graders acted up, she would very calmly walk to her rocking chair and sit down. She would then call out the name of the troublemaker. It was often Dan. “Dan. Come on up here and sit on Miss Brown’s lap.” Dan would do as he was told. Among snickers and outright laughter. Miss Brown would hold and rock poor Dan like he was her own two-year-old baby. Miss Brown knew how to make her point.
She was such a sweet and understanding woman, too. She was the perfect victim for such brazen and determined fifth graders. I think we all thought that we could get away with murder in her class if we wanted to. She was just that sweet a woman. So when she would tell us to read two chapters of our book for homework, most of us would whine about it and say, “Do we haaaaave toooooo?”
Miss Brown would just calmly look at us with those beautiful eyes and say, “Why no. You don’t have to. There are only three things you ever HAVE to do.”
Talk about throwing the aggressor off guard. “What?” we thought and asked. “What are the three things, Miss Brown?”
“Well, honey, I’m not going to tell you that. You’ll have to figure that out yourselves. I’ll give you to the end of the school year to learn that.”
“Well,” we said, “you have to go to the bathroom!”
“No you don’t. You don’t have to. You can go in your pants. You will smell and no one will like you, but you don’t have to go to the bathroom,” she said.
“You have to eat!”
“Oh dear, no you don’t. You will die if you don’t eat. But you don’t HAVE to.”
“You have to pay taxes,” some really smart kid said one time.
Miss Brown replied, “Ya' really don’t. You’ll go to jail if you don’t, but you don’t HAVE to pay taxes.”
Eventually that year, we figured out two of the three things that we “have to do.” On the last day of fifth grade, Miss Brown told us the third thing. I used a page from Miss Brown’s book while dealing with my young son. He got it. He gets it. The pitiful thing is, I never really “got it” until I used it on my child.
One day when my son was in Middle School, he came home and told me of something he did that day. He told me he was goofing off in the hallway and kicked the wall. He was just trying to be funny around his friends. His foot ended up penetrating the dry wall. He told me that he went directly to his teacher and told her what he had done. He was punished in some small way. The teacher appreciated his openness and honesty. He made a choice. He was prepared to suffer the consequences. And his choice to tell his teacher told me that the kid gets it. Own up to one’s actions. Be honest about things. That kid is as remarkable as Ida herself.
I have countless stories about how that kid made choices and accepted the consequences. He is such a remarkable man these days. I’m not sure just how much of an influence I have had on the absolute love of my life. But I have a very strong feeling that Ida B. Brown had a tremendous one. I have an even stronger hunch that Miss Brown will continue to influence the youngsters in my life today.
Those beautiful grandchildren of mine. They have a Dad who knows Ida B.
The three things? In the true spirit of Miss Ida B. Brown – well. You’ll have to figure that out yourself.
Ida Brown was my fifth grade teacher at Fishweir Elementary School on Herschel Street in Jacksonville. She was a big older woman who wore kind of modest but stately dresses every day. Her hair was pulled up and molded into every man’s dream of a wonderful and warm grandmother. She was amazing. Rough and tanned skin. Beautiful big blue eyes that could see right through every kid and every kid’s intentions. She was warm. Like our impression of Aunt Bea from Mayberry. But Miss Brown was real. And so much better than Andy Taylor’s aunt.
When I was in elementary school, the sixth grade was our final year before graduating to Junior High School. So us fifth graders felt pretty tough. We were “upperclassmen!” One more year and we were seniors! Miss Brown understood this. She kept an old Boston rocker at the front of her classroom. Anytime one of us cocky fifth graders acted up, she would very calmly walk to her rocking chair and sit down. She would then call out the name of the troublemaker. It was often Dan. “Dan. Come on up here and sit on Miss Brown’s lap.” Dan would do as he was told. Among snickers and outright laughter. Miss Brown would hold and rock poor Dan like he was her own two-year-old baby. Miss Brown knew how to make her point.
She was such a sweet and understanding woman, too. She was the perfect victim for such brazen and determined fifth graders. I think we all thought that we could get away with murder in her class if we wanted to. She was just that sweet a woman. So when she would tell us to read two chapters of our book for homework, most of us would whine about it and say, “Do we haaaaave toooooo?”
Miss Brown would just calmly look at us with those beautiful eyes and say, “Why no. You don’t have to. There are only three things you ever HAVE to do.”
Talk about throwing the aggressor off guard. “What?” we thought and asked. “What are the three things, Miss Brown?”
“Well, honey, I’m not going to tell you that. You’ll have to figure that out yourselves. I’ll give you to the end of the school year to learn that.”
“Well,” we said, “you have to go to the bathroom!”
“No you don’t. You don’t have to. You can go in your pants. You will smell and no one will like you, but you don’t have to go to the bathroom,” she said.
“You have to eat!”
“Oh dear, no you don’t. You will die if you don’t eat. But you don’t HAVE to.”
“You have to pay taxes,” some really smart kid said one time.
Miss Brown replied, “Ya' really don’t. You’ll go to jail if you don’t, but you don’t HAVE to pay taxes.”
Eventually that year, we figured out two of the three things that we “have to do.” On the last day of fifth grade, Miss Brown told us the third thing. I used a page from Miss Brown’s book while dealing with my young son. He got it. He gets it. The pitiful thing is, I never really “got it” until I used it on my child.
One day when my son was in Middle School, he came home and told me of something he did that day. He told me he was goofing off in the hallway and kicked the wall. He was just trying to be funny around his friends. His foot ended up penetrating the dry wall. He told me that he went directly to his teacher and told her what he had done. He was punished in some small way. The teacher appreciated his openness and honesty. He made a choice. He was prepared to suffer the consequences. And his choice to tell his teacher told me that the kid gets it. Own up to one’s actions. Be honest about things. That kid is as remarkable as Ida herself.
I have countless stories about how that kid made choices and accepted the consequences. He is such a remarkable man these days. I’m not sure just how much of an influence I have had on the absolute love of my life. But I have a very strong feeling that Ida B. Brown had a tremendous one. I have an even stronger hunch that Miss Brown will continue to influence the youngsters in my life today.
Those beautiful grandchildren of mine. They have a Dad who knows Ida B.
The three things? In the true spirit of Miss Ida B. Brown – well. You’ll have to figure that out yourself.
Please visit the sites of some of my friends.
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