THE LUNAR REPORT - "VICTIM" March 29, 2010
Finally, I’m a victim. I’ve been wondering when this would happen. Well it has.
All the years, the decades, of bad stuff coming my way. All the time spent with self-examination, wondering what I did to cause such heartache, such distress, and such. You know. Believing that I was responsible for it all.
Well, now the shoe is on the other foot, I’d say. I’ve been victimized by a large and twisted Internet debit card fraud scheme. And I love it.
Oh sure. Maybe I should accept some responsibility for this one too. After all, I did flash that SunTrust debit card around when I booked all those cruises, played all those rounds of golf on PGA sanctioned courses, bought dinner for parties of 12 or more all those times at Ruth’s Chris. With debit card in hand, baby, the Trump-man is no match for my gaudy spending. No sir.
Years ago, a good friend and co-worker had a terrible back problem. It required bed rest and some pretty strong painkillers. One morning, she woke up with the phone by her side, credit cards spread all over the bed and the television tuned to the Shopping Channel. She was totally confused. Until, that is, thousands of dollars of merchandise began to show up at her home. She cried “victim.” I know better.
But I am a victim. Make no mistake about it. And I do love my newly found victim-hood. In the first place, I can garner some degree of pity, right?
The main reason I love it? It sort of indicates that I have finally hit the big time. Finally, a crook somewhere, somehow thinks I am worthy of such fraud. I am flattered, really. I kind of feel like I belong. You know?
When discussing this matter with a SunTrust person today, I felt a sense of accomplishment and pride. Look. I live a mile and a half from the million-dollar home of Andrew Young, confidant of former US senator and presidential candidate John Edwards. But these debit card crooks chose me! Me! This is awesome.
What makes this whole thing even sweeter is that the global "felonists" tried to steal over two thousand dollars from an account that carried a balance of $125. Poor things. I kind of feel sorry for those idiots. What they will probably never know is that I would gladly pay more than $2,000 to feel important enough to be victimized in this way.
I’ve made it! I’m in the big time! And I am loving this.
All the years, the decades, of bad stuff coming my way. All the time spent with self-examination, wondering what I did to cause such heartache, such distress, and such. You know. Believing that I was responsible for it all.
Well, now the shoe is on the other foot, I’d say. I’ve been victimized by a large and twisted Internet debit card fraud scheme. And I love it.
Oh sure. Maybe I should accept some responsibility for this one too. After all, I did flash that SunTrust debit card around when I booked all those cruises, played all those rounds of golf on PGA sanctioned courses, bought dinner for parties of 12 or more all those times at Ruth’s Chris. With debit card in hand, baby, the Trump-man is no match for my gaudy spending. No sir.
Years ago, a good friend and co-worker had a terrible back problem. It required bed rest and some pretty strong painkillers. One morning, she woke up with the phone by her side, credit cards spread all over the bed and the television tuned to the Shopping Channel. She was totally confused. Until, that is, thousands of dollars of merchandise began to show up at her home. She cried “victim.” I know better.
But I am a victim. Make no mistake about it. And I do love my newly found victim-hood. In the first place, I can garner some degree of pity, right?
The main reason I love it? It sort of indicates that I have finally hit the big time. Finally, a crook somewhere, somehow thinks I am worthy of such fraud. I am flattered, really. I kind of feel like I belong. You know?
When discussing this matter with a SunTrust person today, I felt a sense of accomplishment and pride. Look. I live a mile and a half from the million-dollar home of Andrew Young, confidant of former US senator and presidential candidate John Edwards. But these debit card crooks chose me! Me! This is awesome.
What makes this whole thing even sweeter is that the global "felonists" tried to steal over two thousand dollars from an account that carried a balance of $125. Poor things. I kind of feel sorry for those idiots. What they will probably never know is that I would gladly pay more than $2,000 to feel important enough to be victimized in this way.
I’ve made it! I’m in the big time! And I am loving this.
Please visit the sites of some of my friends.
Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.
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