THE LUNAR REPORT - "SONS AND DAUGHTERS" July 11, 2011
It’s not your typical Western. It’s not about bank robberies or stage coach holdups. Not a single Indian was even shot in The Son’s Of Katie Elder .
“All we want to do is make you end up rich and respectable. You fight us every step of the way.”
This is what John Elder, the oldest of the four Elder brothers said to his youngest brother, Bud. Matt and Tom are the names of the other two brothers who wanted Bud to be rich and respectable.
Bud replied, “I don't want to be rich and respectable. I want to be just like the rest of you.”
I was about 11 years old or so when The Son’s Of Katie Elder hit the movie house in my hometown of Jacksonville. I remember watching that movie at the Florida Theater on Forsyth Street. It’s a Western. I don’t care too much for Westerns. But this one is my favorite. I’ve known that for 46 years. I was just never quite sure why.
Last weekend, I saw the movie again on television. The reason became apparent.
The movie is about family. It’s about four sons, each with a distinct personality and lifestyle and past and future. Each son is independent and headstrong. Yet they all came home to bury their mother. And, for a while anyway, the three older brothers put away their guns and assumed the lifestyle their mother would have wanted for them. The reason? To force brother Bud to go to college and become the success their mama wanted him to be.
I learned some things when my ex-mother-in-law died in 1990. My own dad died just a little over two years later. I learned even more then.
My ex-father-in-law’s death three years ago and my mom’s death last April confirmed what I know.
My mother-in-law’s family seemed to grow closer after her death. There was a great deal of love and respect in that family during that time. I still miss that woman. Frankly, it is awful to be without her, but it felt good to be a part of her family when she moved on. They did things right.
I can say the same about my family when my dad died. We stayed together. We loved each other and held close to our hearts the same love that our dad held for us all. During all of that, my family’s light shined. My dad would have been proud.
A good friend of mine died suddenly on this date four years ago. His was the most incredible family of all. The man had been ill for a while. His beautiful wife was also suffering an illness at the time. His six loving and devoted daughters did some incredible things during his illness. None of them, in the name of family or for any other reason, took a wooden stake in the heart like Matt Elder or a bullet in the back like Matt’s brother Tom. But I kind of believe that had they found themselves under assault while under some Texas bridge, or in town, facing an angry mob like the Elder boys did, or in any other situation where this kind of thing would have mattered to their father… well, I kind of think they, too, would have taken a stake in the heart or a bullet in the back. That’s just the way that family did things back then. Some incredible and admirable stuff. From all of them. All six of them.
So here’s what I know. Death provides family survivors with opportunities and choices. One such opportunity is to grow closer to family and to those you love most. Death also provides a very clear opportunity for families to divide and splinter into something the dead would never recognize in this life or any other. The choices? Do we hang up the six-shooters and rifles and send Bud to college, or do we arm every family member, come out firing and end up empty and lifeless like Katie Elder?
Here’s what’s so hard to understand. When my mom died a few months ago, my family kind of chose the latter. So did my ex-wife’s family when her dad died. Over the past few years, my good friend’s amazing family chose the same.
Surely, from her grave even, Katie Elder recognized the love and devotion and sacrifice of her four sons.
The same cannot be said of my mom and dad. Nor can it be said of the loving but dead in-laws. The same surely cannot be said of my friend, John.
Death of our parents is unbearable. The deaths of our parents’ families are even more so. What makes it all worse is when we cannot even bear to love and respect and cherish to the very end the lives that our parents brought here.
They loved us all.
Rich and respectable or not.
For more on my friend, CLICK HERE for "He Called My Name" on Lunacy.
WE RECEIVE NO INCOME FROM THE ONLINE PUBLICATIONS OR ADVERTISING, SO ANYTHING YOU CAN DO TO HELP WILL BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. PLEASE CONSIDER A DONATION TO THE LUNAR REPORT. JUST CLICK THE DONATE BUTTON ON THE RIGHT. THANKS FOR READING AND SHARING.
“All we want to do is make you end up rich and respectable. You fight us every step of the way.”
This is what John Elder, the oldest of the four Elder brothers said to his youngest brother, Bud. Matt and Tom are the names of the other two brothers who wanted Bud to be rich and respectable.
Bud replied, “I don't want to be rich and respectable. I want to be just like the rest of you.”
I was about 11 years old or so when The Son’s Of Katie Elder hit the movie house in my hometown of Jacksonville. I remember watching that movie at the Florida Theater on Forsyth Street. It’s a Western. I don’t care too much for Westerns. But this one is my favorite. I’ve known that for 46 years. I was just never quite sure why.
Last weekend, I saw the movie again on television. The reason became apparent.
The movie is about family. It’s about four sons, each with a distinct personality and lifestyle and past and future. Each son is independent and headstrong. Yet they all came home to bury their mother. And, for a while anyway, the three older brothers put away their guns and assumed the lifestyle their mother would have wanted for them. The reason? To force brother Bud to go to college and become the success their mama wanted him to be.
I learned some things when my ex-mother-in-law died in 1990. My own dad died just a little over two years later. I learned even more then.
My ex-father-in-law’s death three years ago and my mom’s death last April confirmed what I know.
My mother-in-law’s family seemed to grow closer after her death. There was a great deal of love and respect in that family during that time. I still miss that woman. Frankly, it is awful to be without her, but it felt good to be a part of her family when she moved on. They did things right.
I can say the same about my family when my dad died. We stayed together. We loved each other and held close to our hearts the same love that our dad held for us all. During all of that, my family’s light shined. My dad would have been proud.
A good friend of mine died suddenly on this date four years ago. His was the most incredible family of all. The man had been ill for a while. His beautiful wife was also suffering an illness at the time. His six loving and devoted daughters did some incredible things during his illness. None of them, in the name of family or for any other reason, took a wooden stake in the heart like Matt Elder or a bullet in the back like Matt’s brother Tom. But I kind of believe that had they found themselves under assault while under some Texas bridge, or in town, facing an angry mob like the Elder boys did, or in any other situation where this kind of thing would have mattered to their father… well, I kind of think they, too, would have taken a stake in the heart or a bullet in the back. That’s just the way that family did things back then. Some incredible and admirable stuff. From all of them. All six of them.
So here’s what I know. Death provides family survivors with opportunities and choices. One such opportunity is to grow closer to family and to those you love most. Death also provides a very clear opportunity for families to divide and splinter into something the dead would never recognize in this life or any other. The choices? Do we hang up the six-shooters and rifles and send Bud to college, or do we arm every family member, come out firing and end up empty and lifeless like Katie Elder?
Here’s what’s so hard to understand. When my mom died a few months ago, my family kind of chose the latter. So did my ex-wife’s family when her dad died. Over the past few years, my good friend’s amazing family chose the same.
Surely, from her grave even, Katie Elder recognized the love and devotion and sacrifice of her four sons.
The same cannot be said of my mom and dad. Nor can it be said of the loving but dead in-laws. The same surely cannot be said of my friend, John.
Death of our parents is unbearable. The deaths of our parents’ families are even more so. What makes it all worse is when we cannot even bear to love and respect and cherish to the very end the lives that our parents brought here.
They loved us all.
Rich and respectable or not.
For more on my friend, CLICK HERE for "He Called My Name" on Lunacy.
WE RECEIVE NO INCOME FROM THE ONLINE PUBLICATIONS OR ADVERTISING, SO ANYTHING YOU CAN DO TO HELP WILL BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. PLEASE CONSIDER A DONATION TO THE LUNAR REPORT. JUST CLICK THE DONATE BUTTON ON THE RIGHT. THANKS FOR READING AND SHARING.
Posted by David Moon at 7/11/2011 7:40 AM 
Categories: Life
Tags: The Sons Of Katie Elder family love death parents sons daughters John Wayne Dean Martin Florida Thea
Categories: Life
Tags: The Sons Of Katie Elder family love death parents sons daughters John Wayne Dean Martin Florida Thea
Please visit the sites of some of my friends.
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