THE LUNAR REPORT - "VERDICT" July 18, 2011

(This is a follow-up to the Lunar Report called, “The Carrboro Crosswalk Caper.”)

It was my first trial since I was arrested and accused of letting my dog run loose in Duval County, Florida in 1979.  (See “The Lunar Report - JAILED - May 10, 2010“)  It was also the first trial in which I represented myself.  And just like the 1979 charges when I lawyered up, I beat this rap as well.

That’s right.  I proved beyond a shadow of a reasonable doubt that I was not guilty of failing to yield to a pedestrian in the crosswalk between The Century Center and Cliff’s Meat Market in downtown Carrboro, North Carolina.  And I used the police officer’s actual testimony to prove that I did nothing wrong at that crosswalk.  I showed them alright.

I was totally prepared.  I knew and remembered exactly what went on that Sunday afternoon, April 10, 2011.  I remember seeing an older couple preparing to enter the crosswalk.  They were on the curb at The Century Center, a Carrboro community center and the home of the Carrboro Police Department.  I slowed and checked my mirrors.  At exactly the same time that I reached the crosswalk line, the couple took their first steps into the lane opposite mine, walking towards Cliff’s.  I had no time to stop.  Slamming on brakes would have been far more dangerous than continuing on.  That was my defense.

At the trial, the prosecution made their case first.  They called as their only witness, the Carrboro Police Sergeant who pulled and ticketed me.  From Officer Webster’s very own testimony, I knew for a fact that even he didn’t believe I did anything wrong at that crosswalk.

You see Officer Webster testified that he had been following me for a few blocks.  He was right behind me when I went through that crosswalk.  He saw everything the way it really happened.  If I had been guilty of failing to yield at the Century Center crosswalk, surely he would have ticketed me for that infraction as well as the one I actually committed a few blocks before that - at the Sykes Street crosswalk, a crosswalk that, to this day, I do not recall even seeing.

That’s right.  It was during Officer Webster’s testimony that I realized, for the first time, that I was pulled, not for any violation at the Century Center-Cliff’s crosswalk, but rather for a violation at an earlier crosswalk.  Since I do not recall even seeing a crosswalk at all near Sykes Street, surely I do not recall pedestrians within that crosswalk.  For that crosswalk infraction, obviously, I had no defense at all.  Maybe I should have read the ticket, huh?

But, by God, for the infraction I THOUGHT I was charged with, well there is no doubt that I was innocent of that.  So as far as I am concerned, I am two-for two in acquittals.  And I am one-for-one when representing myself in a trial.

But in the end, I apologized to the judge, the Assistant District Attorneys and Officer Webster for being such an idiot-boy and not recognizing the real charges before bringing this to trial.  I kind of think the judge appreciated my honesty and humility.  Or maybe she just felt sorry for me.  She granted me a “prayer for judgment.”  She still made me pay court costs, though.  

The bottom line?  Had I simply caved early on and pled guilty, I would have had to pay the Town Of Carrboro the $35 fine and the County Of Orange $140 in court costs for a total of $175.  Since I was given a “prayer for judgment,” I owed Carrboro nothing.  But because I took this to trial, the court costs went up to $170.  

Heck.  I saved $5!


Click HERE for Lunacy


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