As we grow older, I suppose, we grow accustomed to our own patterns of life. We choose or not to follow some principled path of promise. If we don’t follow whatever trail we choose, we allow the prevailing winds to carry us to wherever we need to be. Even in the face of promise, winds often prevail for us all.
My hair was a mess. My skin was burning. The damned windy days and nights did that to me.
Lately, I have found myself in a bit of turmoil. Things just don’t seem right. I have a good life. My health is good. My family is incredible. My closest and dearest friends are still in contact with me. New friends bless my life everyday. Still, I want something different. That single strong breeze has left me breathless. If I cannot have what I want and believe that I need, then what is wrong with me? What am I not doing right? These are windy questions. Very windy ones.
Today, I had what I would characterize as an eight-hour text conversation. It was with someone very dear to me. One of her texts read, “people can be so hurtful.” She is right. Lately, the most tumultuous parts of my days arose from my own thoughts of hurt. Hurt from not getting what I want and what I think I need. The thoughts were wind blown ones with no real foundation. Still. My hair was twisted and my skin hurt.
She encouraged me to share with her exactly how I deal with hurt. The moment I agreed, well… that was the moment found. Again.
I immediately returned to my path of promise, a path that was blown away somehow until our conversation. I told her that people are people. That we all screw up from time to time. But if we do what is right – the things that help create God’s heaven here on earth – then we should have no worries.
I told her about a time I was at a good friend’s house. We had just finished eating the breakfast he prepared, and he was cleaning up the mess we all left behind. I walked to the kitchen sink and began to wash the dishes. My friend yelled at me and said, “Don’t wash those dishes! There are others here just sitting around, doing nothing. They should be helping.” I just looked at him, smiled and said, “If they don’t feel the need to help, well… that’s their problem.” I cannot express the incredible reaction my friend had to that moment. He was kind of amazed.
I then continued with my text to tell my friend that as long as I feel I am doing the right thing, no one can harm me. No one can hurt my feelings. If I am doing what God expects of me, then how can I possibly be offended? I hope she understood.
And I hope she understands this. For what seems like the longest time lately, I have found ways to feel neglected and hurt. I have tried to place blame on others. I have tried and failed at things that might make the hurt go away. I have told myself how ridiculous I am being. I have tried my best to simply forget what I imagine to be hurting me. It has been an incredibly strong wind.
My hair has since settled back into place. My skin feels cool and comfortable again. The blustering wind led me to a found moment – that single conversation that settled the air and that took my worries away. It brought back the calming breeze. And the windy path of hurtfulness disappeared…
once again, into one of nothing but promise.