FROM JUNE 30, 2014
I’ll be honest with you. Just like I have been with you the past 5 years or so.
I’m a little depressed. I’m also a little excited. When one combines those two things, it usually means one is a bit anxious. I am that as well.
Something has ended. That bothers me. Something new will surely happen. That charges me. In the meantime– the time between what ended and where this all goes – y’all need to know some things. And maybe help me through the anxiety. Once again. As you all have done for the past five years.
The Lunar Report is over. It’s done. Well, at least, in it’s current form, it’s all over.
Since it’s web inception, the Lunars and Lunacys have been designed and posted using a GoDaddy product. GoDaddy recently made a business decision – to discontinue that product. And they have taken away both sites.
I don’t blame GoDaddy for making a prudent business decision. Maybe I needed that decision to move on. Maybe it’s time to do something fresh. Still – this is very emotional for me.
The Lunar Report came about when my days and nights were filled with nearly empty rooms occupied only by anxious moments generated from lack of work, lack of promise, and worst of all, lack of purpose. An old and dear friend recognized something in me back then. She encouraged me. She knows who she is, and that’s enough for her. Besides, I don’t want to name names and have you pin on her the blame for all of the crap you guys have endured from my writings all these years.
The Lunar never generated income. It didn’t need to. Some really good folks made donations, but they didn’t need to. My friend and those of you with endurance gave me much more. You filled empty days and nights. You occupied every room in my home with promise. You gave me purpose.
The Lunar Report – and you – gave this tired and anxious old man life.
The Lunar cleared a path to my innermost feelings. It neutralized for me what has paralyzed most of us all of our lives – the fear of acknowledging fear and failure and loss of control. And it encouraged endless declarations of love. Love of fear, of failings, of loss. I love those things because they define me. I know that now. Thanks to The Lunar Report – and you.
The Lunar Report taught me the value –the true value – of just being honest. With everyone I encounter. Including myself.
It taught me how to laugh at myself.
It put me in touch with some wonderful and new folks. It reunited me with folks I once knew, now know again and who now take me to places well beyond all wonder. And it allowed my consistent friends and family to finally know me – the real me – finally.
All of those times during the past several years when life was just not right, you guys and The Lunar Report were there to correct my path. To steer seemingly purposeless moments into things that mattered. And each evening of writing and editing and re-writing delivered within me more than enough purpose to cause me to feel worthwhile after all.
I will miss those evenings. But my memories of the times that created those nights will forever occupy my heart with reminders of where I once was and with the certainty of the place to which they have delivered me. I will find new, and more important ways to fill those nightly hours. But I will miss what the past five years and you gave to me. I will. I do.
As a sort of way to say goodbye to the old Lunar, I really want you to know what was in my mind as I wrote the ones that you read. I am ninety-nine percent certain that all of the Lunar Reports were written with at least one potentially troubled or concerned reader in mind. Maybe they needed advice. Maybe they needed direction. Maybe they just needed to have someone know and understand them. Maybe they needed an escape or a laugh. No matter the form of those Lunars, their purpose was to reach folks dear to me – or to some group of folks whose troubles endeared me to their very own purpose. I hope you know that.
So what now? My thoughts haven’t changed. Neither have yours. We all, I think, still need the same things from life. Promise. Understanding. Honesty. Love. Humor. But degrees of those things kind of ebb and flow over time. Still, whatever happens to me and The Lunar and other writings, there is one gift that will remain constant within me. It’s the one that you gave me. And I will clutch it firmly until my old fingers and heart can no longer hold on. Purpose. That gift will never abandon my mission, no matter how diluted that mission may seem to become to me or to anyone.
Look. You guys made me. When I had nothing, you guys found something in me. You guys made my lonely Friday nights of writing a lighthouse of paradise. You made my Saturday, Sunday and Monday editing sessions beacons of purpose. And all of those many times you responded, you safely delivered my heart to the most comfortable port I have ever known – it was always just a simple pier of understanding.
Well, the wind has subsided a bit lately. But I am ready to turn the big sail toward the prevailing one and catch the gust that will take us all to ports we have never seen. Maybe we will create a more encompassing blog-site that will include some of you guys as regular contributors. Or maybe I should just captain a singular ship and let it lead me where the wind dictates as I write my books below deck alone.
Just as was the case five years ago, I have no idea where this will lead. Back then, some good folks encouraged the Lunar Report. I am counting on those guys again. And on you this time.
Tell me what you think – what you believe. Join me in the creation of something new and important.
We can do blogs. We can write books. We can communicate in virgin ways.
But what cannot be done is for me to do this alone.
Y’all gave me five years of exploration, of discovery and of the honest understanding of the condition-less nature of true love. The differences to all of those who were touched somehow by what I wrote were created by everything that you gave me.
Thanks for being with me all this time. Stick with me a while, okay?
I know that you will.
But for now, just let me know what you think. After that, we will all move forward.
As a new beginning, let me introduce a phrase I really like. Maybe it’s original. Maybe it’s not. But the meaning of it is, “I am so amazed by you all – each one of you!”
It also means “unconditional love y’all taught me.”
Thank you for everything.